Editor's Letter - 7th issue
How many hearts are lost in the pursuit of love and marriage? They play by the book, they play by the world. A peek inside in one person's pursuit.
girl, i don't want you to give anything to me. don't be sorry to me or to yourself. you haven't done anything wrong by being transparent with me. i'm a bit confused by you mentioning heart ache, nothing has been decided yet, right? in everything you wrote in the e-mail, i really feel that you're anxious. just want to reassure you
You think you're doing it right -
when i revealed my feelings to you back a few weeks ago, i was thinking one main thought afterwards: one step behind me, one step ahead of me: going to see her. all i want to do now is to see her. step by step. its taken me this long to speak to you about my feelings, im not in a rush. i apologize if i did anything that made you think that i was coming over to move things along. thats not the case.
You bend yourself, give of yourself.
the long distance would be hard for me too. i was thinking when we meet, and if things would have moved along, we would talk about it. in fact, things have really grown and happened on their own, my own plans have changed. i was planning on talking to you about all this when i got there. but it doesnt matter, this is an important place. you said that somehow we're jumping into a rel, honestly i havent been seeing that at all. again, i apologize if ive done something to make you think like this. when u told me that u were feeling burned out, i was trying as hard as i can to ease up on the language and flirting, knowing that this is the path i take to being with you.
Is that sacrificing, giving or holding out in hope for nothing?
im your friend no matter what. i want you to trust me as a friend. our friendship is our base. remember how i told you about that quote i try to live by... "to be a safe brother to all girls"? I sincerely want you to feel safe with me. I'm not after something. I want your wellbeing.
That was honest and straight from the soul.
u said that two weeks in my comfort wouldn't be fair to me. you finding comfort or refuge in me.. it wouldn't be wrong. spend that one week or two weeks with me and don't give me anything I haven't earned. i dont want anything anyway. i just want to spend time with you. lets do this together. i wont act like im expecting something though. i want to come to see a new city and get some vacation time. i want us to meet, as much as you can handle, and spend time. i want to meet your friends, lets hang around church, and also do stuff together.
What a fool. I'll never love again.
i wont turn off my feelings. i know the buildup to this hasn't been casual. im not going to pretend or act like nothing has happened. i am though going to bury them alive, hoping that God will allow me to raise them up in the right time. For now, im just going to spend time with you and see the city, and lets just see how things go.
Stupid move. I should have turned them off. I have turned them off.
im ready to do what it takes to make things easier for you. is two weeks too much for you? ill come for one and make it count. no pressure, no expectations.
Liar. You won't survive if you don't get her.
This is the marriage, sex, dating, lust issue. The issue with issues.
Midiane
Editor, Efmevi.
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